Articles For Singles
The following is a selection of various articles of interest to singles.
Rule #1: Keep it short, upbeat, flirtatious, and fun to read. Be specific about needs, not general like long walks on beach or candlelight dinners (who doesn't like that). Say instead love concerts at Lincoln Center, jazz at the Vanguard, the garden at Museum of Modern Art.
Keep to the facts about your height, hair, religion, marital status; don't embellish by saying I'm a little overweight now but I'm exercising. Let him/her find out about you in person cause negativity can be overcome and you have better chance in person than in an ad for him/her to like you anyway.
Don't emphasis that you want to get married, have kids, embark on a meaningful relationship, even if it is true. Don't seem desperate or needy and let needs unfold slowly as they can scare someone off who really may want to get married etc, but is not too sure.
Do not try for sympathy or act like a victim. Stories about being an ex-drug addict or just getting over an abusive relationship are not attractive. Do not say you are unemployed, between jobs or are a consultant working from your NY apartment. Accentuate the positive.
What you want to accentuate is your assets, like: speak languages and love to travel to foreign countries, sports conscious person a must.
Or start with: pasta and cappucino on Ft.Lauderdale beach and outdoor cafes all over world is my idea of a great time, or I love the classics and classical music.
Ask for what you want. I am looking for someone artistic, who likes museums, photography. Whatever it is, be specific. There's nothing wrong with saying I like someone who races autos like I do.
When you answer an ad, women would be wise to send a picture and make sure it is recent and good as men are very visual. Men: write well and offer flattering comments, don't just talk about yourself -- women really likes flattering words.
Sound flirtatious, playful, never desperate. Remember being single is a numbers game and most get lots of responses-- make yours different.
If it is a phone personal or you talk, keep conversation short, don't reveal too much and say you want to meet; there's nothing like eye contact to know someone.
Make meeting close to your house, and just a drink or lunch, no long drawn-out dinners--it's hard to sustain interest and conversation with a new person.
Ask for their telephone number, check it out before the meeting and give it to friend just in case.
Never invite him up, or show him where you live unless in a doorman building and you feel safe. Smart flirts are cautious!
Telling too much. Let the mystery of you unfold slowly, let him/her want to know more and come back.
Don't have him pick you up, meet him in a public place.
Be a good listener as well as conversationalist. Listening will tell you much about your partner and if you want to continue to see this person.
On your first dates, be playful, fun, tell just so much, ask about other, be a good listener, try to find things in common, and keep it upbeat and short.
Upon closure say really nice meeting you and that enjoyed the conversation about-----, maybe we can meet again, and then exchange cards. Never insult or be negative, leave persons ego and dignity intact. Say I think I'll pass. Or we did not have as much in common as I hoped, but it was nice meeting you. I feel we are not right for each other, but I enjoyed meeting you.
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If you're going to pursue personal ads, I wholeheartedly recommend that you place one. Sure, you can respond to as many ads as you'd like, but the odds are against you because you become just one of the many doing the same. If you want to be the one in the driver's seat, place one yourself.
There are certain advantages to placing a personal ad, over other meeting methods. You can do it 24 hours a day, just call the sfsingleliving.com number at 1-800-447-7630 to place your free ad.
If you are skeptical of personal ads, and doubt they could ever work for you, let me share the following story.
My girlfriend Debbie is 37 years old and recently got engaged to a man she met through the personal ads. She lives on Long Island, and for years only went to bars and clubs. She met plenty of men and had relationships, but never met the kind of guy she needed to meet. In short -- she needed a mensch. (A mensch is a decent, responsible person.)
I advised her to take a class, go on a singles trip, and try many other possible socializing methods. She never did. Instead, she continued her standard socializing routine, until I took an active stand on her behalf. I wrote and placed a personal ad for her. While she was angered at first, she calmed down, got used to the idea, and actually grew to like it. She went on to place other ads on her own, and eventually met the man she is about to marry. So -- it goes to show that you never know. Despite her resistance, in the end everything worked out for the best.
Personal ads have come a long way. In many cases it's actually now free to place an ad. You pay to retrieve your responses. In addition, you are able to respond via voice mail, as opposed to having to send a letter. That means, however, that you will not get to see what the person looks like because you won't receive a photo. It also means that you have to be able to decide if you want to meet someone on the basis of hearing their voice. Some people are good at this, and other find it a difficult task. You basically want to trust your instincts. If it feels right, arrange a date, but certainly do not feel obliged.
You don't have to be desperate to pursue personal ads. In fact, many South Florida singles try them because they're simply too busy to get out there in the often stressful social scene. While personal ads may not be for everyone, if you think you've tried it all but have not explored this method, you may be missing out!!
Place Your Free Personal Ad Today!
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